Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. All thoughts are based on my experiences and should not be taken as medical advice. If you think you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health illness and are in need of care, please contact a qualified health professional. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Staying at home for extended periods of time isn’t new to me.

We’re a little over two months into quarantine here in the Bay Area and we’re slowly seeing restrictions lift, but I don’t feel safe enough to relax my own behavior just yet. You might feel the same, or not, but perhaps we can agree that staying at home these past two months isn’t easy. Despite our anticipation to return to “business as usual,” it also isn’t going to be easy shifting from 24/7 at home to engaging with the world outside more frequently.

If you feel worried or uncertain about life after quarantine, keep reading. I’ll share the tools that eased my way back into the outside world of school, work, and play. This isn’t my first stint inside for indefinite periods of time after all.

Locked Inside

When my depression and panic attacks were at its peak, I experienced agoraphobia—a fear of having a panic attack in a situation where it would be challenging or embarrassing to escape. The world was full of big and scary situations that I needed to avoid at all costs. So, I did, for days and weeks at a time. Hell, I barely got out of bed some days. The fear of engaging with other people, traveling, and even going out for a walk locked me inside. During that time, however, I built a toolkit of skills to help manage my mental health and ease my way back into the “normal” world.

As lockdown restrictions loosen in California and the rest of the world, I’m focused on using and expanding my mental health toolkit to keep me well throughout the remainder of shelter-in-place and prepare myself for life after quarantine.

Here’s what helped me manage my mental health then and what’s helping me now during the COVID-19 pandemic:

Plants and Nature

The weather is warming up and nature is flourishing here in California. While I would love to go to the beach or hike a local trail or lay out on the grass of a nearby park, I’m not ready to face potential crowds and people without face masks. Since we can’t control other people, and there’s no point in trying, I’m enjoying the sun and nature at home.

An easy mood booster for extended periods at home is bringing nature inside. During spring, my boyfriend cuts me a bloom or two from the garden to cheer me up. Having a dose of color and natural beauty to glance at during the day brings me so much joy. Flowers are also a gentle reminder that all things, like quarantine, will pass. In the meantime, let’s—quite literally—stop and smell the roses.

If you don’t have a garden with flowers, why not get a houseplant? David and I have tons of plants already, but during this quarantine we picked up a few more from one of our favorite plant shops in Oakland. We’ll take any excuse within reason to add a new plant baby (or five) to our little family, and supporting a small business was all the excuse we needed. Despite the growing pains—plants get stressed too—our newest additions are growing strong.

Caring for our plants helps me manage my well-being in more ways than one. Seeing each new leaf sprout reminds me that we all grow at our own pace and that’s perfectly okay. Like plants, we also need care and attention to thrive. The act of observing what my plants like best reminds me to turn inward and ask myself what do I need most. Do I need to drink more water or get some sun today? Do I need nourishment like my plants need fertilizer? In a bout of depression or a spiral of anxiety, having plants indoors reminds me to pause, be more mindful, and enjoy the little things.

Virtual Connection

A couple friends committed to weekly check-ins with me in April to focus on goal-setting and connection during Rona. Our weekly conversations keep me grounded and motivated to keep going even at my lowest. Staying virtually connected also prevents me from becoming isolated which has negative affects on mental health.

A professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, found that social isolation “increases the risk of mortality by 29%” and is “twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity.” While isolation negatively impacts mental health, people experiencing a mental health illness are also prone to socially withdraw which becomes a cyclical pattern. Author of The Depression Cure, Stephen Ilardi, PhD, says “When we’re clinically depressed, there’s a very strong urge to pull away from others and to shut down.” In other words, isolation puts our physical and mental well-being at risk and having a mental health disorder also increases our risk of becoming more isolated.

Having experienced clinical depression before and becoming intensely withdrawn from my closest friends and family, I anticipated that shelter-in-place would put me at risk of isolation. By scheduling regular connection with a few friends in advance, I’ve been able to avoid becoming socially withdrawn. The virtual connection has also provided a safe space to be heard, seen, and uplifted.

My friends, family, and I can be vulnerable, expressing our fears and frustrations without feeling shame or guilt for being human. We can also express gratitude and appreciation for each other, sharing the nice things we have to say instead of letting them go unsaid. Most importantly, connecting regularly with other human beings reminds me that we’re not alone despite what our anxieties or doubts might be saying otherwise.

Online Therapy

Recently, I also decided to go back to therapy, but this time it’s online. I’m still getting used to virtual therapy but I’m grateful that I can meet with my regular therapist over video chat or phone.

If you’re interested in online therapy, ask if your current health provider offers teletherapy. If they don’t, there are also online therapy platforms like Betterhelp or Talkspace that you could try. I haven’t tried any of these platforms, but if you’re interested, here’s a review of The 9 Best Online Therapy Programs of 2020 by Verywell Mind.

Therapy helped me manage my panic attacks, anxiety, and depression over the last five years so I could go back to school, graduate with honors, work a full-time job, and become debt-free. Without therapy, I probably wouldn’t be alive to write to you all.

You don’t have to be contemplating suicide to try therapy though. If you’re able to manage your day-to-day but have noticed irregularities in your sleep, appetite or mood, it doesn’t hurt to look into therapy. Therapists are like physical trainers for the mind, and sometimes, we all need a little help to stay fit.

If you or a loved one are having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Plant friends and human friends are the two things that pulled me out of depression almost five years ago, and they are keeping me sane through this pandemic too. While we recognize that long-term social distancing may have negative impacts on our mental well-being, let us also acknowledge that slowing down during Rona gives us the opportunity to nurture our connections and physical environment.

How are you staying well right now, friends?

Drop a comment below to share your mental health tools with this small, but thriving community.