It’s the holidays!

Although I love the holidays, it’s also a time where nerves are on edge and sadness begins to well up in the pit of my stomach.

Sometimes the winter blues come slowly, like a gentle fog has rolled up. Sometimes it feels like a punch to the gut. Most often, it’s the push-and-pull of anxiety to depression. Overthinking and adrenaline at its peak to numbness and nothingness.

Thoughts like, I need to clean and finish all the chores before people arrive, or, Do we need to give presents this year? If so, who, what, when? fill my head. “But that’s not the point of Christmas,” I say to myself. Still, it’s a constant flurry of to do’s and what if’s. Then there’s thoughts of loved ones who have passed thrown into the mix.

How can we possibly recreate the joy and warmth they brought each year?  Maybe we’re not meant to; maybe we’re meant to create a joy and warmth all of our own making with the people with us now. But still, the sadness lingers, heavy on the heart.

Over the years, with therapy and continuous effort, I’ve built a practice and toolkit to focus on the things I can control and the things I can’t. To ensure my basic needs are met so I can function, maybe even be cheerful during this season. To rise and greet the day, whatever it might bring.

If you’re feeling a little blue or overwhelmed this season, here’s a gentle reminder that you’re not alone. I see you in your tenderness and I’m sending hugs.

I’ve also compiled a toolkit that helps me thrive through the holidays below:

Check-In Reflex

I love this checklist by Alyse Ruriani. I keep a screenshot on my phone. The list even made its way to my bullet journal with my two additions: water plants and breathe. Y’know me by now, I like any reminder to take a deep breath.

Plus, by going through a checklist of fundamental human needs—food, water, rest, nature, or human connection—you’re able to immediately identify potential solutions to ease you back into a steady-state.

Mindfulness Practice

During the holidays, especially if I haven’t been consistent with my meditation or yoga practice, I make every effort to carve time out for mindfulness. I find that when I’m regularly meditating and doing yoga, even for 5-10 minutes a day, then I’m in a much steadier state with my mental health.

Similar to a check-in reflex, mediation and yoga help me check-in with my mental and physical self. Creating space to be still and pay attention to my breath and body creates distance to observe objectively, without judgement, and let go of the mental and emotional clutter: the annoying thing he said, the jerk move that driver made, the hit my wallet took this weekend, the amount of food and sugar I consumed over Thanksgiving, breaking out all over my chin, or my own unrealistic expectations for myself.

Dropping into stillness or onto the mat don’t automatically erase all those events, feelings, or thoughts but it does help put you back into a position of control. You realize that these events, feelings, or thoughts only have as much weight as you put on them. You can choose to let negativity continue to weigh you down, or make an intentional effort to let go and keep trying to do better this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow. You can even drop into a pocket of gratitude and let yourself be safe and warm there for a while.

Letting Nature Take Its Course (As An Active Participant)

What may be the hardest thing to do is to do nothing at all, to let nature take its damn course. To be sad, to numb out, to ride the waves of anxiety and let it wash over you, is sometimes the best thing to do. Resistance makes it worse. Forcing yourself to be happy, to be productive, to be everything at once makes it worse. So, at times, it’s best to accept what you’re feeling and let it pass on its own time.

It will.

However, it’s important to note that you can still be an active participant while doing nothing at all. You can notice what you’re feeling, maybe even name those feelings. You can notice what you may or may not be doing too.

Find yourself Netflix binging? Try not forcing yourself to stop. Try not shaming or guilting yourself either. Instead, state the facts. How long have you been watching Netflix? How many episodes or Christmas movies have you already watched? Then, go a little deeper. Are you numbing out? Are you tired and trying to relax? Or, do you really wanna watch all those shows and movies?

Eventually, you’ll either get bored of what you’re doing and move onto the next thing—maybe something productive. Or, you could realize you could be doing something better to relax or not be stuck in your feelings—like make a cup of tea or call a friend who always make you smile.

If I’ve been sleeping or Netflix binging too much, I’ll eventually want to do something else. My favorite thing to do is make a cup of something warm and yummy, like a cup of earl grey with a dash of milk and sugar, or hot water with honey, lemon, and ginger. 

That cup of warmth might be all it takes to find a sliver of joy in the fog.

That ounce of joy leads to another act of self-care and another and another, gaining momentum, until finally, I find myself again.

Finally, Gratitude Always

Sometimes, getting back to steady-state is as simple as acknowledging my effort too. If I tried one, two, or three things to ease my anxiety or depression, then I recognize that I tried and accept where I am in the moment. 

A moment is only temporary. What matters is the narrative we create. Instead of beating yourself up over not feeling great during the holidays, give yourself the gratitude and self-love you deserve.

If you liked this post, you might like my post on minimalism, the lifestyle change that helped me pay off my student loan debt and ease my anxiety.

And, if you’re up for it, I’d love to hear your tips for staying mentally well during the holidays. Comment below, click the heart, or share with a friend this season. Happy holidays, and thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, therefore, this content is not intended as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, contact your physician or a qualified health professional.