Living, weighed down by fear and doubt, is not the path to happiness. What is? - December 26, 2018

Before every major decision, and even the little ones, I ask myself, What makes me happy? What option most aligns with my happiness?

These questions may sound selfish on the surface, but they come from a source of deep selflessness: my mom.

My mom is sunshine. Her name literally means “little sky.” She embodies selflessness and radiates joy. Always smiling, she has instilled in me that no matter what I am doing, as long as I’m happy I’m on the right path.

In moments of panic, questioning how happiness would sustain me, sometimes I wish my mom had more specific direction. Yet, I am grateful for all she has given me: her wisdom, love, and the freedom to choose my way through life. As I weather this life, my mom’s lessons stick with me; her constant focus on happiness has been a good guide through the years.

Even less than a year ago, I was questioning my path to happiness. I’m still questioning it today, but I have spent a good chunk of time testing different options and learning what fills me with joy.

What sparks joy?

The idea to start a blog came from questioning my happiness and its nuances. Happiness can be simple or complex, but the fun is in exploring the undertones. I like to think of identifying happiness nuances in the same way I tidy: I look for what “sparks joy.”

You may be tired of Marie Kondo by now, or you don’t know of her, but The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up’s KonMari Method has changed my life in decluttering and finding happiness. Four years after reading her book, my paired down closet is filled with solids and stripes, but the variations in each item trigger different levels of joy. It’s the same with writing.

Writing has always been a happy place for me, but I uncovered the joyful undertones when I started exploring different ways of journaling personally and writing professionally.

As I built up my writing muscles documenting my days in a bullet journal, writing morning pages, and sending weekly summaries at work, each style triggered my happiness muscle in different ways. At the heart of this experimentation in writing styles, I found joy in the process, and I became less happy when I wasn’t writing in some form.

When restlessness begins to override fear and doubt, I know I’m on the right path—the happy one.

In developing a writing muscle (and through the eyes of a great manager, mentor, and friend), I’ve also learned that I operate best, and am happiest, at a sweet spot between creativity and analysis. Research is a great example of bridging creativity and analysis together, and writing research papers is, actually, one of the things I miss most about school. Yet, research alone wasn’t enough reason for me to start a blog.

Then, I read an excerpt from Tools of Titans, by Tim Ferriss.

In the book, Tim Ferriss quotes an example by Scott Adams about “systems” versus “goals” in relation to Scott starting his blog. Scott’s two-part system, which can also be found on his blog, includes writing as practice and “a sort of R&D.”

When I read about Scott’s system, I felt like I found a sweet spot to explore, and—like a kid who found the hidden candy stash—I was ready to dig in. The goal was no longer about writing posts that require a bit of research, but rather viewing the whole writing process as research to find what works best and grow into areas that need work.

Without sharing my writing with others, however, I would be missing a crucial component for improvement, and the most daunting: feedback.

In architecture school at USC, critique was the norm. As a student in general, we are constantly given feedback from peers and teachers alike. In the professional sphere, I was lucky enough to work in a startup culture that encouraged feedback; but outside of work, I was missing creative discussion and dialogue with experts and peers.

Without sharing, I’m not even in the discussion.

The desire for feedback, practice, research, development, and, ultimately, to live aligned with my happiness factors made starting a blog realistic. Combined with months of morning pages and a dose of fear-setting, there was only one option left: organize, synthesize, and share my thoughts, reflections, experiments, and experiences in writing. Or, y’know, start a blog.

So, in celebration and honor of lessons that haven’t yet led me astray, I’m choosing happiness, along with curiosity and, my word of 2019, kindness. Giving myself space to create, to wade in the sweet spot of creativity and analysis, living in pursuit of what drives my curiosity and lessons in living well, is my path to happiness.

If you’re interested in asking yourself what makes you happy and how to live a life that aligns with that happiness, I hope you join me on this journey in living well. Subscribe to Anjeliqueca where you can expect posts on wellness, lifestyle, and more.

Thank you for reading! I hope you’re having a great day, and if not, I hope it gets a bit happier.