2020 feels like it’s going on forever.

So much has happened in the last 5.5 months. From Australian wildfires to Taal Volcano eruptions to a pandemic complete with quarantine, racism, and social justice movements, I can barely wrap my mind around the fact that we’re only halfway through the year.

Part of me wants to throw my hands up in the air and yell, “Screw 2020.” Parts of me can only shake my head and laugh, “I don’t know what’s going on, but it is what it is.” Then there are the parts that want to make sense of it all or, at least capture what is happening in this moment.

In this moment, I’m listening to Supermarket by Logic—the soundtrack to my last two posts. Catchy hooks, layered instruments, and nostalgic beats. On repeat until I’m done with whatever task at hand. A mundane snapshot of life in a defining moment in history. Or, at least an incredibly eventful year.

I don’t quite know what to make of 2020 and I can’t imagine what will happen next. In spending brief moments of reflection, however, I acknowledge what I can control, what I can’t, and the ways to keep moving.

Brief moments of reflection look like stream of consciousness writing—like these paragraphs. Or, jotting down to do’s and daily events. Sometimes, it’s poetry—fragments of thoughts strewn together, line by line. Reflection might also be structured in the form of what I’m grateful for today, what’s going well, or the opposite: my fears and lowest points.

Reflection doesn’t always make sense. There’s no answer to be found. There’s no point to arrive at. Reflection takes its own form as word after word arrives on the page.

Why do I journal? What do I write about? How did I cultivate this practice of reflection? What are the benefits of journaling? Why do I love written reflection so much?

I write because I have questions. Some questions never get their answers. I write because I want to remember, understand, and dream. I write because what doesn’t make sense today might make sense tomorrow, next month, or years from now. Mostly, I write because reflection grounds me in the moment, makes me feel alive and calm and excited and sad and peaceful all at once.

You want to start your own journaling practice and don’t know what to write? Feel uncomfortable sitting with a blank page staring back at you? Feel calm in the moments and days following a good journaling session? Don’t know how to keep it up though?

Here are some prompts and methods to start journaling. And really, the biggest hurdle is starting.

Journal Prompts + Methods

• Letters to Self: Younger You and Future You

• Taking Stock: What’s going well? What do you want vs. NEED? What are you grateful for? What happened today? This week? This month? This year?

• Fear-Setting by Tim Ferriss: Answer 7 questions that define the fears that arise when you consider something you want to do, the worst case scenarios if you pursue what you’re considering, the cost of staying where you are vs. the cost of pursuing your desires, and what you’re waiting for to do that thing you’re considering.

• Jealousy Map by Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way: Make three columns. In the first column, write “WHO” ignites jealousy in you. In the second column, write down “WHY” you are jealous. In the third, name what Julia Cameron calls your “ACTION ANTIDOTE”—a tangible action that helps you achieve the enviable quality or attain the enviable object in your WHY column.

• Stream of Consciousness: Write (or doodle) whatever comes to mind.

The prompts and methods above appear regularly in my many notebooks. I also frequently document the lessons I’m learning and the questions I’m asking myself because journaling is like holding up a mirror to yourself and the world around you, then documenting what you see or what you don’t.

Right now, many of my questions are centered on racial biases I’ve grown up with and perpetuated in my life because we are living through a time when people from all walks of life can no longer turn away from the injustices happening to Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC). We have had enough and we are using our voices to make our wants and needs reality.

If you’re interested in doing the inner work of anti-racism, here’s where I am starting:

• What are the racial beliefs I grew up with? Where did they come from? How were they instilled into my belief system, my family’s belief system, and the belief systems of generations before me?

• When, where, and how did I perpetuate or benefit from racial biases and beliefs?

• What opportunities did I have to address racial biases and beliefs? Did I speak up? Why or why not?

• Am I being productive or performative? What are my motivations for my actions and inactions? What is the impact of my actions and inactions?

• How can I continue to dismantle my racial biases and beliefs? What is the next step I can take towards anti-racism, whether it ends up being a misstep or the right step?

• What mistakes have I made? What I can learn from these mistakes? Where have I changed my mind and where have I strengthened where I stand?

• Lastly, in everything I do, am I in alignment with my values, my authentic self, and how I genuinely want to live my life?

I might not like the answers, but that isn’t the point. The point is I’m not running away from the world or myself. I’m showing up in the ways that feel authentic to me.

As Logic croons in “By the Bridge,”

Why isn’t anybody listening
This world is so beautiful but then again
But then again

I can’t help but smile. We are living in a crazy, mysterious, and beautiful world. If we never find the answers to life’s questions, at least we were alive to try.